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Speak Up! - View Question #154 |
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Question: What can happen if I do not tell the father I'm pregnant with his baby?
Answer: There is no legal requirement that you make the father of your child aware of your pregnancy. You need to make a decision about revealing this information based on a number of considerations.
First, if you think that you will ever need child support or financial support raising the child, the father ought to know now rather than later. There may be safety considerations for not telling him i.e. if he has been emotionally, physically or sexually abusive to you, you may not want to tell him as violence often increases when the victim is pregnant. There is also the moral/ethical consideration for both the child and the father. Does he have a right to know that he has fathered a child? Does your child have a right to know that his/her father exists and know who that person is?
This decision may impact your life and the father's life but you are guaranteed that your decision will impact your child for life. Talk to a counselor or a trusted adult about this issue. It is a hard decision but one you should make carefully and not based upon spite or anger.
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| Comments |
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On 12/28/04
Lynn from NC said:
I am pregnant and do not wish the father to know or have anything to do with us. He is a very violent man. Do i have the right to keep this information to myself and keep him out of our lives. Im not sure what direction i am going to go in this situation. Im still trying to decide what to do about it all, but i do not want him involved with my decision. Do i have the right to do this with out him?
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On 04/02/04
SUSAN from OK said:
I DO FEEL SORRY FOR YOU AND YOUR WIFE, WHAT A BURDEN THAT IS , I MEAN IT WASNT YOUR FAULT THAT THE OTHER MOTHER DECIDED NOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR SON, AND NOW YOU AND YOUR WIFE HAVE TO PAY FOR HER STUPIDNESS!! I ALSO FEEL SORRY FOR THE POOR LITTLE BOY INVOLVED, IM SURE HE WILL FILL UNWANTED IF YOU DONT FULLFILL THIS STUPID THING THE MOTHER DID. ITS ALMOST LIKE SHE PLANNED TO GET REVENGE OR SOMETHING I THINK SHE IS VERY SELFISH. I FEEL REALLY SAD FOR YOUR WIFE. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH AND THE LITTLE BOY, AND THE OTHER WOMAN WILL PAY FOR THIS SOMEDAY IM SURE, THAT WAS VERY SELFISH AND MEAN OF HER.
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On 02/20/04
Steve from FL said:
The father should be notified! I am about to turn 31 years old. I have been married for two years now and my wife and I are in the process of trying to have our first child.
I was notified two weeks ago that I have a 5 1/2 year old son that I never knew about. I contacted the mother and she claims that she was never going to tell me. But, when the child continued to ask about "daddy" she changed her mind. I am now being sued for child support, back child support, and all the money and benefits she accepted from the state. Not to mention that I have a son that I don't know anything a
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On 06/19/02
Destyni from FL said:
Even though you may not have to disclose to the father of the unborn child his status, if you intend to go through adoption or need financial assistance, i.e. child support, you will find it very verry difficult to do so without his acknowledgement. I am currently pregnant & have selected a wonderful adoptive family for the baby, but the process will be in limbo until the birthfather agrees to the adoption, regardless that he is a convicted drug dealer (the reason I left him). Think everything over VERY carefully before you finalize your decision.
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