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Speak Up! - View Question #609 |
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Question: Can you hit back an abusive parent?
Answer: One has the right to defend oneself (See A.R.S. § 13-404.) or an innocent third party (See A.R.S. § 13-406.) from an assault but does not have the right to strike someone to 'get even' or get revenge. (See definition of assault at 13-1203) Only reasonable force may be used to defend oneself or another. A parent, however, has a lot of disciplinary control over a child. Whether something constitutes abuse or assault, or whether it is allowable parental discipline, depends on the circumstances. If a parent is imposing lawful discipline, and the child hits the parent, the child may be prosecuted for an assault.
Responding with violence is generally not a good solution to the problem of abuse. That usually results in the level of violence increasing over time. There are alternative ways to get help, including making a referral to Child Protective Services or by calling the local police to file a complaint about the abuse. One can also inform another trusted adult, like a teacher, and ask for help. You can call 911 to contact the police in an emergency. You can reach Child Protective Services at (888) 767-2445, or (888) SOS-CHILD.
As a practical matter, when the police are confronted with 2 people who are fighting and who live in the same home, the police will arrest one of them to be sure the situation has a chance to calm down. Where there is an adult and his / her child, the police may remove the child rather than the adult, because the officer may believe the adult was exercising appropriate discipline over the child. Additionally, if the adult is arrested, the police would have to place the child into a temporary foster home while the adult is in custody. Therefore, the child frequently is the one who gets arrested, to avoid the need to place both the child and the parent in custody.
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| 11 thru 15 of 22 comments |
On 12/15/03
Kay from CA said:
my boyfriend is 19 years old and lives with his parents. He does not have the means to move out because they would not let him have a job. The problem is, his dad continuously beats him and has done since he was an infant. The mom knows about it and just makes up lies and excuses for her husband. She even had the nerve to lie to me about it when i confronted her. Her older son attempted to commit suicide because of the way he was beat and neglected when he was younger. Can anyone give me information on what he has the right to legally do, because he has no place to go. He also has an 8 y
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On 12/14/03
mandy from NY said:
my dad is really abusive toward my mom and i really dont know what to do any more me and my brothers and my mom need help what should we do??????? and he does it so very often what can i do to help her? he even said that he will buy a gun to kill us all sooner are later i afriad he will do so
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On 11/10/03
Sage from NY said:
Remember, the law and justice are two very different animals. A cop probably has no reasonable way to tell who was really at fault in a messy domestic dispute. I mean, if two people are fighting, could you honestly tell me that you could figure out exactly who started it? So, read up on self-defense laws, and case histories of battered women related trials, so that you know about the kinds of things that could get you, the victim, jailed.
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On 09/11/03
Enid from NJ said:
this is a comment for kirsten
I know how you feel. I feel like I am in your mom's shoes. I have not seen my son in 2years I spent all my money fighting courts, and still there is no justice in america. i raised my son until he was 11 in private school without a penny from the father, i discipline him to respect and be top of his class. When he was with me he even desired to have a future in college now he wants to be nothing. Then the courts over turn the custody case gave the dad custody, to a dad who has alcohol and drug problem , is voilent b/c he use to beat me up,now my son is pub
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On 09/02/03
Debbie from IN said:
My mother has always been a hitter from as far back as I can remember. I had to move back home due to a divorce, and am finding my mother continuing her old habits. She has hit me in the face and hit and several times. I have restrained myself from hitting her back because after all she is my mother. What makes a mother still hit a grown 43 yr old woman when she is angry and doesnt like what has been said or if you don't agree with her. I have always felt that my mother has always hated me but don't you think she has gone a little too far at my age and especially her age (60). I had a pys
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