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Question: What rights do stepparents have in the care of step-kids?

Answer: Stepparents have no specific rights over their stepchildren. The biological parent has decision-making authority over the children in all matters related to the child's health and upbringing. In other words, the stepparent can't consent to medical care, can't sign paperwork for school, etc.

A stepparent who has acted as parent for a child for a long time, and who is now being divorced from the biological parent, may have some visitation rights if a judge decides the relationship is in the child's best interests.

Even though the stepparent has no rights relative to the child, if the stepparent is a custodian of the child, that adult can make certain control / discipline decisions affecting the child in the absence of a biological parent. A stepmother, for example, who is taking care of the child during the father's absence on a business trip, can set curfew, mealtimes, and other rules that affect childhood discipline while the child is in the care of that adult.


Comments
26 thru 30 of 91 comments
On 08/12/08
Heidi from WA said:
Being a stepparent is a very difficult job, especially if you are the fulltime mother to the stepchild. There is a lot of resentment. I personally have not only had problems from the biological mother but even more from my mother-in-law. My husband and I have two children and she can't seem to accept them, only my stepdaughter. She makes it very obvious who the favorite is and has said and done some terrible things. My advice to people in this situation? Make sure your husband knows that he needs to support his new family 110% and not leave his wife to fend for herself.
On 08/05/08
me from CA said:
my husband and i recently married, I have a son of my own (14) and my stepdaughter(12). The bio mom never stops! All I have ever done is shown nothing but compassion, support, and love for her and my husband. But the bio mom never sees it that way and now it affecting the step daughter even worse. I believe the stepdaughter feels as though she betraying her mother while having a relationship with me. the daughter tells us every negative comment said about us (from her mom) and she is quick to deny it. Sadly-i have caught her in lies too.I feel like at times I am in a competition I never signed
On 06/28/08
AZMOM from AZ said:
Tracey from New York, I couldn't agree with you more. Loving a child and using a child to get at the biological parent are two different things. Stepparents who chose to get involved in already problematic relationships, really don't need to partake in any additional game playing or bad mouthing of the biological parent. Shame on the stepparent for joining in and creating more issues to a already problematic situation.
On 06/04/08
Tracey from NY said:

Anita from OH, You make good observations; nonetheless there can be much more to the reality of each situation. I am guessing you are not a mom with children that have a stepmother? In my situation I give thanks that my children's stepmother is not mean nor physically abusive to them, but I do not appreciate when she makes small negative comments about me to my children. How can a person claim to love and care for them when she uses them to try and hurt me when in fact she is only hurting them? To someone like her I do not owe respect nor appreciation for loving my own.

On 05/22/08
Anita from OH said:
Children have the ability to love more then one parent, and it doesn't take anything away from the other one. I wish that all parents, step parents and biological, could realize this. It shouldn't be a competition. We should all have the children's best interest at heart. Biological parents should be happy to have someone who ALSO loves their children, and takes care of them, instead of being jealous. They should be happy that their children are getting twice the love from having two moms or two dads.
26 thru 30 of 91 comments



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