Speak Up! - View Question #153

« LawForKids.org home page | « Go back to speak up question #153

Question: I am 14 and my mom and dad have joint custody. I have been living with my mom for 14 years and I want to live with my dad. My dad is a heavy drinker and my mom does not think that this would be good for me. Can she do anything to prevent me from living with my Dad?

Answer: The court has jurisdiction (power) to make decisions because it issued a joint custody order. Because it issued the order, it has the power to modify it. Therefore, your father would have to ask the court to change things. It appears that, although custody is joint, your mother has primary physical custody (that is she has you living with her most of the time.)

In most states the court must consider what is in the best interests of the child when making custody decisions.

It is considered to be in the best interests of the child to have a good relationship with each parent. It is often the case that judges will allow a child to move from one parent to the other when the one parent has had a lot of time with the child and might be a good thing for the child to spend time with the other parent.

It is not considered in the best interests of the child to be with a parent who drinks too much. If he really is a heavy drinker, then the court would not want to change to order to give you more time with him. In fact, if he really is a hearvy drinker, the court might curtail his visitation, and make the custody no longer joint, but give it to your mother. However, if he only drinks a little bit, and would tell the court that he would stop if he got physical custody, the court might order a change.

Usually your father would have to file a petition to modify custody with the court, and your mother would file a response saying whether she agreed or disagreed. If she did not agree a hearing would take place. First he would tell the judge why the custody order should be changed, and then she would tell the judge why it should not be changed. You might or might not be allowed to talk to the judge, probably in chambers.

You should talk to both of your parents about what you dislike about the present situation and what changes you would like to see. Perhaps they can work together to make things more comfortable for you without going to court.


Comments
1 thru 5 of 23 comments
On 02/10/09
F.N.B from MO said:
ya i wana liv wit my daddy but mama said one of yall cant go all of yall go bcuz they had three kids togethter but i got too much goin on right now and i think i deserve a fresh start and to liv wit my daddy but wen i told her that didnt go so well so im goin to the counselors to do sumthin bout it bcuz me and her is not workin out together and i hav ben thinkn bout livin wit him for bout a year so this wasnt jus a split second decision bcuz i was mad at her.
On 01/28/09
sarah from VA said:
I can sort of understand but, the only reason why because I live with my dad and want to live my mom but I don't know how old I have to be say where I want to live ,mom or dad, or if I am even allowed to say. And i'm too afried to ask my dad how old I have to be and my mom doesn't know the virginia law stuff because she lives with my step family in west virginia.
On 05/01/08
JT from TN said:
IF you really want to live with your dad then maybe you should try to dit down and have a talk with your mom or try to go to like a counslor at your school and maybe talk to them and then they can talk to your dad to try to get him to go and take your mom to court to get custody and if you really want to live with him then you are old enough to pick who you want to live with. Just try to talk to them cause i went through the same thing just try.
On 05/01/08
sissy from TN said:
well she could go to the court house and tell the judge that she does not want your dad to have visitation rights because he is a heavy drinker and that he could possibly hit you if he's drunk,
On 04/14/08
jeff from MI said:
i want to live with my dad because my mom does drugs and drinks a lot and i think it is affecting my school work and i think i will do better at my dads but my mom is threting me with court and me and my dad both have been in trouble with the law i dont know if that will hurt the chances of me living with my dad what should i do?
1 thru 5 of 23 comments



Read more about the law and Family
Related Stories
Related Laws
« LawForKids.org home page | « Go back to speak up question #153