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Question: I am 14 and my mom and dad have joint custody. I have been living with my mom for 14 years and I want to live with my dad. My dad is a heavy drinker and my mom does not think that this would be good for me. Can she do anything to prevent me from living with my Dad?

Answer: The court has jurisdiction (power) to make decisions because it issued a joint custody order. Because it issued the order, it has the power to modify it. Therefore, your father would have to ask the court to change things. It appears that, although custody is joint, your mother has primary physical custody (that is she has you living with her most of the time.)

In most states the court must consider what is in the best interests of the child when making custody decisions.

It is considered to be in the best interests of the child to have a good relationship with each parent. It is often the case that judges will allow a child to move from one parent to the other when the one parent has had a lot of time with the child and might be a good thing for the child to spend time with the other parent.

It is not considered in the best interests of the child to be with a parent who drinks too much. If he really is a heavy drinker, then the court would not want to change to order to give you more time with him. In fact, if he really is a hearvy drinker, the court might curtail his visitation, and make the custody no longer joint, but give it to your mother. However, if he only drinks a little bit, and would tell the court that he would stop if he got physical custody, the court might order a change.

Usually your father would have to file a petition to modify custody with the court, and your mother would file a response saying whether she agreed or disagreed. If she did not agree a hearing would take place. First he would tell the judge why the custody order should be changed, and then she would tell the judge why it should not be changed. You might or might not be allowed to talk to the judge, probably in chambers.

You should talk to both of your parents about what you dislike about the present situation and what changes you would like to see. Perhaps they can work together to make things more comfortable for you without going to court.


Comments
11 thru 15 of 23 comments
On 04/24/06
Alli from GA said:
Hi, Im 17 too and i also want to live with my dad but my mom won't let me and is saying that we have to go to court and everything so im trying to get free consultations and talk to a mediator so i think that is what anyone should do... i am trying to help but i also need help...
On 03/23/06
Chris from GA said:
Big question what what can i do if i live with my dad and dont get a long with him fight all the time and want to live with my mom but do have the money to pay for count and stuff.. what do i do i need help i cant live with my dad any more my om lives in GA for her whole life and i have been with my dad for 16 years now and im ready to leave and move with my mom she just started working again dont drink dont do any drugs.. help please
On 02/28/06
Eric from MD said:
ok my dad and my step mom wanted to move to PA and i didnt cuz my mom lives in md and all my friends and my school.I was fine until i moved here my grades are really bad because the schools are really hard compared to the schools around near where i lived..ok then i go to my moms house every weekend that really sux.. me and my mom are alot closer than me and my dad! my mom says that she will take me for the summer and i wont come back ill live with her and she said that if he doesnt let her than she wil take him to court!! i live in the country part of PA that really sux there is nothing to do
On 02/24/06
beckie from AK said:
hey am 14 and i live with my dad my mum doesnt want me she thinks her boyfriend is more important i cant stand the people i am living with and i have no where else i can go live what can i do hay ?
On 05/18/05
craig from NJ said:
Im 17 years old and i been living with my mom for my whole life except 3 years thats was with my dad.Only because my mom is in the military and she has to go out to sea.But now she back and im older i want to live with my mom now.But, he's not going to let me so now my mom taking him to court and the court said i have to come too.What do you think the court is going to say to me?
11 thru 15 of 23 comments



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