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Question: I am 14 and my mom and dad have joint custody. I have been living with my mom for 14 years and I want to live with my dad. My dad is a heavy drinker and my mom does not think that this would be good for me. Can she do anything to prevent me from living with my Dad?

Answer: The court has jurisdiction (power) to make decisions because it issued a joint custody order. Because it issued the order, it has the power to modify it. Therefore, your father would have to ask the court to change things. It appears that, although custody is joint, your mother has primary physical custody (that is she has you living with her most of the time.)

In most states the court must consider what is in the best interests of the child when making custody decisions.

It is considered to be in the best interests of the child to have a good relationship with each parent. It is often the case that judges will allow a child to move from one parent to the other when the one parent has had a lot of time with the child and might be a good thing for the child to spend time with the other parent.

It is not considered in the best interests of the child to be with a parent who drinks too much. If he really is a heavy drinker, then the court would not want to change to order to give you more time with him. In fact, if he really is a hearvy drinker, the court might curtail his visitation, and make the custody no longer joint, but give it to your mother. However, if he only drinks a little bit, and would tell the court that he would stop if he got physical custody, the court might order a change.

Usually your father would have to file a petition to modify custody with the court, and your mother would file a response saying whether she agreed or disagreed. If she did not agree a hearing would take place. First he would tell the judge why the custody order should be changed, and then she would tell the judge why it should not be changed. You might or might not be allowed to talk to the judge, probably in chambers.

You should talk to both of your parents about what you dislike about the present situation and what changes you would like to see. Perhaps they can work together to make things more comfortable for you without going to court.


Comments
21 thru 23 of 23 comments
On 04/18/02
tasha from WY said:
i don't think that you should live w/ your dad because of his drinking. I do live w/ my dad and yes it is heck to live with them becuase they abuse you and they yell at you and my dad has done all of this stuff to me so i know what is is like and if you live with your dad you might regret it later. SO in my opion i think that you should just stay with your mom until you can move out and live with somone other than your dad
On 12/14/01
Christy from AZ said:
I suggest that you stay with Mom. If Dad is still around visit and get to know him. If you believe in God then pray for a good change. If you don't believe in Him. Seek and You Shall find Him.
On 12/10/01
sara from AZ said:
why would you want to live with your father if he drinks? Maybe you should visit a websites that gives you informaiton on how bad it is to live with a parent who abuses alcohol. You should be grateful that you have a mom who cares and wants to keep you. Get a grip pal!
21 thru 23 of 23 comments



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