Speak Up! - View Question #20734

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Question: I'm 18 and have decided that I want to live with my mother, but my dad has told me that as long as I live with my parents I have no say where I can stay - no matter how old I am. Is this true and are there any ways to override it?

Answer:  
At 18 years old, a young adult certainly has a voice and his/her desires should be expressed to the judge presiding over the parents divorce.  While the child will, most likely, be denied the opportunity to speak directly to the judge, there are numerous ways to make you thoughts and feelings known to the Court. 
 
Let's get one thing clear, though: Have you graduated high school yet?  Or is your senior year next year?  If you have already graduated high school, then you are no longer a 'minor child' in the eyes of the law, and your custody and/or residence is not under the jurisdiction of our courts.
 
Typically, when parents divorce, both usually share what we call "parenting time" with their children.  So, a child does not have to choose between parents; Sometimes the child has a "primary residential parent" - the parent with whom the child spends most of the time and lives primarily.  In other cases, kids spend time with their parents in equal portions (50%/50%). 
 
It isn't clear whether a Petition has been filed and whether your parents are dealing with a divorce in the Superior Court.  A parent, however, can ask for a 'best interest attorney' to be appointed who will report to the Court the child's feelings regarding custody and residence.  A parent can ask that one be appointed through the Children's Law Center - the Law Center appoints free 'best interest attorneys'.  Also, a parent can ask the Court to order that the child has an interview with Conciliation Services (of the Superior Court) - the child would meet with a conference officer who will ask questions and will also provide the Court with the child's feelings.      
 

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