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Speak Up! - View Question #109 |
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Question: I live with mom who has sole custody. Can dad/ judge MAKE me visit him? AND My mom has full custody & my dad has visitation rights, but he's physically & verbally abusive to me. Do I have to see him if I don't want to?
Answer: The answer to whether a judge can make you visit your father depends upon how old you are. If you are younger than age 16 the judge may order you to see your father, and your mother is required to make you go or to take you. The state believes that it is good for kids to have a relationship with both parents unless evidence is presented to the judge to the contrary. Usually, this must be evidence of a very bad act on your father's part which can harm you. Just not getting along with him is not enough. If you don't want to visit and the judge has ordered visitation, your mother can ask for modification of the order, but she will have to give the judge a good reason. The legal rule that the judge must follow is whatever is 'in the best interest of the child.'
However, even where the judge feels visitation is 'in the best interest of the child', where the child is mature, about 16 or older, visitation may not be workable if the child is dead set against it.
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| Comments |
| 1 thru 5 of 6 comments |
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On 09/07/07
granni from NY said:
My daughter fell in love with a man 6yrs older and they had a child together. He is, was verbally abusive, uses cocain, heroin, etc. so does his mother. My daughter wanted to get away but he used the baby as a pawn. She has full custudy and he has court order of visitation. He has done nothing but steal everything from her and everyone and every where. He has told my daugher how he hate them both, etc. I went to meet my grand child for the first time. He threw my daughters things out and the baby's. He toss both into the street. So my daugter left. The police aware and the courts don't care
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On 03/24/06
Amber from TX said:
I lived with my mom for 14 years and then with my grandma and I got into some drugs and then my dad got custody of me. I am doing really good, but i want to live with my mom and not with my dad and my dad will not let me, do i ahve a decision to make, can i live with my mom? I am turnig 17 soon, so do i get to make that decision?
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On 11/04/04
Chelsea from AZ said:
My father has been physicaly, emotionaly, and verbaly abusive to my sisters and I in the past. My mom and him are currently in the middle of a divorce and we are scared that he might get partial custody or visitation with us. Whenever we are forced to visit or talk to him over the phone my 2 younger sisters cry, and sometimes even my older sis and I cry too. I don't think that the court gives kids enough say in different matters.
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On 09/16/03
Holly from TN said:
It is wrong of our legal system not to listen to the children. My children are mentally, physically, and verbally abused by their father yet the courts could care less. Because they have not been hospitalized the system will do nothing. Their father is a very dangerous man even to the point of strangling my son. The manipulation and degrading they go through is unbearable but there is nothing I can do. I must not only send them to their father's house but I must make them go. My only hope is that our prayers will be answered and the Lord will take care of them while they are there.
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On 01/16/02
sherroll from VA said:
I have 2 children ages 12 and 13 1/2. They do not wish to visit with their father who has been abusive towards them. Currently, we are living with "Forced Visitation" which is traumatic to the children. They (and I) have been told (by the acting judge) I (mom) will go to jail if they don't cooperate. I face jail time as the 12 year-old refused a visit. The ex filed contempt of court charges against me. I didn't realize someone could be jailed for the actions of another.
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