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Speak Up! - View Question #123 |
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Question: I live with my father but my mom has our custodies. Can he hit us or tell us what to do?
Answer: The answer for Arizona 'Yes' with some exceptions, and it is probably the same for most states.
The parent with custody of a child or children has the right to make a lot of decisions regarding their welfare, including where they live and with whom. If that parent allows them to live with another adult, including their father, and is letting that adult be responsible for them, the parent is temporarily giving the person the right to conrtol the child along with the duty to do so. In this case, telling you what to do when you are with him is absolutely your father's right and his duty, whether you are visiting him, or are living with him.
Hitting you may or not be appropriate. This depends upon how old you or your brother or sister are, how hard, how often, where, why and with what he hits you. If you think that he is hitting you or your brother or sister too hard, or for no good reason, then you should report it to a responsible adult like a teacher, a minister, or a neighbor (see 1800-help numbers). If he hits you because that is the only way he can keep you behaving in a way that is in your best interests, like going to school, getting enough sleep, etc., and he doesn't overdo it, then it is probably reasonable and ok for him to do. If there is more to it than that you should talk to an adult about it, perhaps at school, to see if they think he is out of line. If you do this, you should be carefull to give that adult all of the facts as accurately as you can.
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