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Speak Up! - View Question #152 |
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Question: What rights do stepparents have in the care of step-kids?
Answer: Stepparents have no specific rights over their stepchildren. The biological parent has decision-making authority over the children in all matters related to the child's health and upbringing. In other words, the stepparent can't consent to medical care, can't sign paperwork for school, etc.
A stepparent who has acted as parent for a child for a long time, and who is now being divorced from the biological parent, may have some visitation rights if a judge decides the relationship is in the child's best interests.
Even though the stepparent has no rights relative to the child, if the stepparent is a custodian of the child, that adult can make certain control / discipline decisions affecting the child in the absence of a biological parent. A stepmother, for example, who is taking care of the child during the father's absence on a business trip, can set curfew, mealtimes, and other rules that affect childhood discipline while the child is in the care of that adult.
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On 03/12/09
from AL said:
What if your the step parent who the children live with you. The father works every single day and the children only see the birth mother once a month, then what rights do you have. It's funny no one question that you spend all your money on them, stay awake in the middle of the night when they are sick, make them there breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday. Wash there cloths, buy them shoes and everything else.... but we still have no rights. There are good step parents out there and some really bad birth mum. Just remember that.
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On 03/05/09
Emommy from OK said:
I am glad to see their are step parents that are wonderful out there. My daughter has a step-mother -- though not bad, she has taken it upon herself to raise my daughter the way SHE seems fit. She is ex-military and VERY strict and stringent down to the minute. It drives my daughter crazy. I have rules in our house, but my daughter has more freedom at home. She constantly points out what she deems are faults of my daughter.
So I applaud those step parents that are supportive and not destructive.
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On 02/19/09
Stepo2 from AZ said:
I am a step parent too for over 8 years now and my two step daughters call me "mom" as well. I have always told them to call me what is most comfortable for THEM.
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On 02/15/09
Mommy1 from KS said:
I want to just say that as a mom I know that children can love their step parents just as much as their parent, but however, when a Steo parent crosses the line then that is to much. It is as it is seen a parent is a parent and a step parent is just that "a step parent". Every situation is different, but step parents have to realize that their role is to support their spouse and not interfear with the rights of the biological parents. I commend those step parents that can get along with the other biological parent. Do you really think playing war doesn't affect the child in question? Think ok.
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On 01/12/09
J from PA said:
To the person who commented that a step-child doesn't love their step-parent as much as the parent may think....are you a step-child yourself or are you just speculating? I am a step-child AND a step-parent. I deeply love my step-dad, and I don't even refer to him as such. At my wedding, BOTH my dads walked me down the aisle and I had two father/daughter dances. Each situation is different, but I love both my dads equally. You have no idea what your child is thinking so don't even try to speculate!
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