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Speak Up! - View Question #152 |
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Question: What rights do stepparents have in the care of step-kids?
Answer: Stepparents have no specific rights over their stepchildren. The biological parent has decision-making authority over the children in all matters related to the child's health and upbringing. In other words, the stepparent can't consent to medical care, can't sign paperwork for school, etc.
A stepparent who has acted as parent for a child for a long time, and who is now being divorced from the biological parent, may have some visitation rights if a judge decides the relationship is in the child's best interests.
Even though the stepparent has no rights relative to the child, if the stepparent is a custodian of the child, that adult can make certain control / discipline decisions affecting the child in the absence of a biological parent. A stepmother, for example, who is taking care of the child during the father's absence on a business trip, can set curfew, mealtimes, and other rules that affect childhood discipline while the child is in the care of that adult.
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| Comments |
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On 10/17/07
Kathry from CA said:
CIH from KY, i don't believe you have considered the other side of this arguement. i am currently raising my husbands 2 year old daughter who has been calling me "mommy" since she was 10 months old. we never asked her to call me that, but mommy is what you call someone who feeds you, changes you, plays with you, takes care of you, and loves you like a mommy. my daughter doesn't even recognize her biological "mother" when she shows up. step parents don't always ask for the blessings and responsibilities they have, but some of us are working really hard at this and deserve a little credit.
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On 09/19/07
E.E. from OK said:
I agree. The re are not enough rights for step-parents. My husbands ex-wife called me and asked if she could send her daughter here to live. She said she could not handle her and would go along with whatever my husband and I decided. Well, she's been here for 6mths and everytime I've tried to contact her she said "It's your problem now, I had to deal with her now it's you guys turn" So, I stopped trying to co-parent with her and started treating her as I do my biological children. And now she sends an e-mail saying I basically have no rights and better parent the way she wants or else.
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On 08/15/07
dadsbo from MO said:
I am a step-father who has 2 step children that were placed in foster care while I was serving in Iraq. When I came back to the States, the first court hearing that I attended, I tried to speak up, but the judge told me I had no rights because I was only the step parent. Is there anything that I can do. We have been trying to get the kids back home for almost 2 years
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On 08/10/07
C.L.H. from KY said:
Karen from DE, you took the words right out of my mouth! I am having a problem with my children's step-mom wanting to take over and be "mommy".She can love my kids, she has to respect my kids, but she is not nor ever will be there mother. If a step-parent loves their step-children then they will respect the wishes of the kids parents and not argue about it.
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On 06/18/07
Andrea from WA said:
I am a stepparent. My husband has full custody as the mom didn't show up for court. I love her to death and her mom asks her if she loves me more and she tells her that she loves us the same. It upsets me the lack of rights for stepparents. I think that something needs to be done especially in the cases where the stepparent takes better care of the child than the bio mom. Which is the case in my situation.
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