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Speak Up! - View Question #153 |
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Question: I am 14 and my mom and dad have joint custody. I have been living with my mom for 14 years and I want to live with my dad. My dad is a heavy drinker and my mom does not think that this would be good for me. Can she do anything to prevent me from living with my Dad?
Answer: The court has jurisdiction (power) to make decisions because it issued a joint custody order. Because it issued the order, it has the power to modify it. Therefore, your father would have to ask the court to change things. It appears that, although custody is joint, your mother has primary physical custody (that is she has you living with her most of the time.)
In most states the court must consider what is in the best interests of the child when making custody decisions.
It is considered to be in the best interests of the child to have a good relationship with each parent. It is often the case that judges will allow a child to move from one parent to the other when the one parent has had a lot of time with the child and might be a good thing for the child to spend time with the other parent.
It is not considered in the best interests of the child to be with a parent who drinks too much. If he really is a heavy drinker, then the court would not want to change to order to give you more time with him. In fact, if he really is a hearvy drinker, the court might curtail his visitation, and make the custody no longer joint, but give it to your mother. However, if he only drinks a little bit, and would tell the court that he would stop if he got physical custody, the court might order a change.
Usually your father would have to file a petition to modify custody with the court, and your mother would file a response saying whether she agreed or disagreed. If she did not agree a hearing would take place. First he would tell the judge why the custody order should be changed, and then she would tell the judge why it should not be changed. You might or might not be allowed to talk to the judge, probably in chambers.
You should talk to both of your parents about what you dislike about the present situation and what changes you would like to see. Perhaps they can work together to make things more comfortable for you without going to court.
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On 04/08/08
mason from AL said:
i want to live with my mom.I live with my dad now in Texas I lived with my mom until I was 9 and then dad got custody. I go to my mom's every summer,spring break,Christmas,Thanksgiving and I NEVER want to leave.I get physically sick beg my mom to keep me just one more day but she can't it is court ordered.She said talk to your dad but he is never home and would not let me.She had just turned 16 when she had me and graduated from high school and college he was never around until I was 5 and he was getting married.Can I tell the judge what I want and get it or do we have to go to court?
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On 03/03/08
amber from WI said:
i am 17 years old my father has physical placement and i want to go live with my dad but i know he wont allow it but i really want to go live with her...could i get in trouble for leaving?
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On 02/01/08
marie from AZ said:
im living with my dad. he hardly lets me use the computer, phone, and he refuses to take me to get my permit. my dad hardly lets me visit my mom but when he does she has to pick me up and drop me off its over an hour away and my mom is poor... i wanna live with my mom... my mom and i get along better than me and my father. he is hardly ever home and we barely talk is there anyway the court can switch custody rights
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On 05/04/06
cece from FL said:
im 15 i live in vero beach and my mom is an abusive alchohilic who has never been sober for more then 2 years! she has been dinking since i was 5! i would like to move in with my dad he has a house with 4 bedrooms a computer for my homeschool. i have a permit and i will be getting a job soon. i have lived under my dads watchings before and everything was ok! btu my mom says she has proof that my dad is crazy but its all a lie! he has a journal that i read with thought of killing himself but he never will becasue he loves me to much! how do i get able to move in with my dad??
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On 04/28/06
laura from GA said:
well ok i have live with my dad for 16 years and i go to oregon every summer to see my mom and little brother and now that im 16 i want to move with my mom but i knowe my dad will not allow me to cause him and my mom dont see eye to eye on things anotherthing is that i really dont know what their papers say except that they have joint custody and that my dad has phyiscal custody or something, please tell me what i can do in my situtation when neither of my parnets drink do drugs or anything else and i really want to live with mom but my dad want allow me to and i dont know the law. please help
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